Almost A Year Has Passed!!!

A pic of me and my fiance, Fidele....story to come!

Wow!!!! I can hardly believe that it has almost been a year since I last wrote a post on my blog!!! Time has just flown by even though many days along the way, I never thought the time would pass...especially here in little Eastport, Maine! So much has happened this past year, so it is quite hard to know where to begin now that I am dusting off my laptop keys to write down some thoughts. Maybe the best place to start is right where I am today...

I am sitting at work tonight waiting for 10pm to roll around so we can go and do lock ups for the Coast Guard Station. Lately I have been struggling with a great deal of stress here at work because I am trying to become fully qualified in my job as a boat driver, but a lot of things overwhelm me and then I start worrying that I just will not make it and that I will end up failing. I pray and pray that God will strengthen me and give my heart peace, but sometimes it all seems slow in coming. However the Lord comforted me in a special way the past couple days with two different verses that I read from the Bible.

#1...As I have been praying for peace this past week to fill my heart and calm the raging in my soul, God graciously turned my eyes to Philippians 4:8-9: "And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Keep putting into practice all that you learned and received from me---everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of PEACE will be with you."

And after I read those verses, the thought came to me: This whole week I have been praying that God would just give me peace, but maybe He wants me to give me something more than peace (more than what I perceive peace to be, which is a calmness and stillness of my soul...a quietness within me). The Lord not only wants to give me a quietness in my soul, but He wants to fill the quietness with His presence....He wants to be my quietness/my peace. And so instead of focusing on the lack of peace in my heart and soul I need to be putting into practice all that I have learned and received from God's Word. I need to be thinking the kind of thoughts that Paul talked about...and then I will not just have peace...."Then the God of peace will be with me."

#2...I have also been praying that God would give me strength...strength to accomplish the things here at work and strength to serve Him...and to be honest the more I pray sometimes the weaker I feel. But the Lord also so kindly directed me to Psalm 89 tonight and two verses stuck out to me (16-17): "They rejoice all day long in Your wonderful reputation. They exult in Your righteousness. You are their glorious strength. It pleases You to make them strong."

WOW!! In many ways when I pray for strength, I know that I often think of receiving an increase in my own strength, but that is not God's idea of blessing me. No His plans are much higher and better! He does not want to just give me strength...He wants to be my strength!!!! And not only that He wants to be my GLORIOUS STRENGTH!! From this I really see that God is not a vending machine to ask for something and wait for it to pop out...prepackaged and ready to be consumed. No our God is a consuming fire. He is the Almighty One. The holy and majestic King enthroned in majesty! And He is so kind and merciful to us. I ask for strength, and I am disappointed and upset when He says no. But little do I realize that He says no because He wants to give me something better---HIMSELF!! The Lord wants to be my glorious strength in life.

God does not want to just give His children peace...
He wants to be their peace.
He does not want to just give us strength....
He wants to be our glorious strength.

So these are my thoughts from the past couple days and the lessons that have been tough for me to learn but so wondeful too at the same time. I will keep trying my best to update this blog on all the happenings of my life over the past year little by little....and keep it updated on my life right now as I serve the Lord in Eastport, Maine.

To God be the glory in my life today and tomorrow and forever!

A little Update

It has been a while since I last wrote an update on all the happenings of my life here at school. I am nearing the end of my time here in Yorktown. I will be going into week nine of training, and I only have four more to go. Yesterday I took my final test, which covered everything we had learned thus far...so now I am all done with the classroom portion of my training. Now we will be going out on the small boats putting everything we have been learning about navigation into practice. I am excited that we get to do the practical part of training now…no more long days in the classroom!!!


I received my orders this week to my next duty station. I will be going to Station Eastport, Maine. Eastport is the east-most city of the United States. It is a very small town…the kind of towns where everybody knows what you are doing before you do! I hear it is beautiful country though, and I will be enjoying lots of snow!!! I know this is where God wants me to go. I am a slave of the Lord Jesus and I want to serve Him with all my heart, enthusiastically.

So I pray and commit this new chapter in my life to the Lord and I am excited to see all that God shall do. I am excited to see God’s name glorified. And that is what I want to do---GLORIFY THE LORD!!!

I am so blessed…God continues to strengthen my heart and fill me with joy in Jesus Christ. My life is His and I surrender to His plan joyfully. I love Him with all my heart; He is everything to me! So I press on today in the strength of the Lord, rejoicing in my God and Savior, and so very happy to be the slave of Christ.

A Sobering Reflection

“For the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God. Everything is naked and exposed before his eyes, and he is the one to whom we are accountable.”

--

Hebrews 4:12-13

I know life can be very busy at times, but I would beg you to stop for a few moments and take a trip with me today. Trust me, where we are going is not easy, and what we must do when we get there and all along the way is even harder; but be assured, that if you do not take time to come with me now, your soul shall be in very grave danger. So let us go and search the depths of our hearts and souls, and let us cast down our idols and turn wholeheartedly to serving the Living God.



Perhaps you have never seen Bible churches in the United States filled with idols, or Christian homes adorned by false gods, but I have; and what grieves me most is that I am among them. We are people who do not treasure Jesus. We want to make Him fit our needs and our lifestyles so we distort the Truth and exchange it for a lie. We like serving a God of love, we enjoy going to a church with comfortable chairs, good music, and inspirational messages. We need our weekly pep talk, so we come and joke around and fulfill our spiritual duty; but we are not serving Jesus; we are worshipping ourselves.



Awake, O Church, and see that we have erected idols in our hearts: idols of comfort, security, ambition, family, retirement, money, greatness, fame, and so much more. The Word of God means so very little to us and we can see this proven true in the time we invest in it. O God, break our hearts! We have sinned and traded you for the gifts you bestow, for the glory that is your due, and for the trappings of this world. And dare we think that we serve the Living God when we neither put Him first in our lives nor seek Him above all things.



I speak from experience, we gather on Sundays bringing some of our idols with us. There are plenty of other idols of course waiting for us once we arrive at church. We check our face book and email before the service starts, check the clock and figure out how much longer until lunch, eat some snacks and drink a cup of coffee, complain about the weather, talk about sports, and then find our seats before the service starts. Like a movie theater we pick the best place to sit, sink into our comfortable chairs, we pop our knuckles while the announcements are being made, we sing, we pray, we listen or at least try to as we catch ourselves daydreaming about life and the new week ahead of us. We say goodbye, not really remembering what the message was about, but ready to get on with life and get back to what really matters. And that would be a typical morning church service for many people in the United States, including myself.



But I am left empty and haunted by questions: where are the tears, the sorrow for sin, the soul felt worship, the desperate cries for help and strength, the joy in singing to the Living God, the power of the Holy Spirit at work in our midst---where is God? Have we not come to worship Him on His glorious throne? But I do not see Him here; I do not feel His power and presence. However, I do see a throne and seated on the throne is a mirror, and I see myself bowing down before that mirror, investing time and energy appeasing it. I also see upon the throne my laptop with my facebook account open along with my email account and google searches…a reminder of my time spent. I see comfort and security, I see ambition and pride, I see fame and self-recognition, and I see dreams and lusts all piled high upon the throne and still do I wonder where my Lord has gone?



I have not come to church to worship the Living God, but to be entertained; I have not come to humbly bow before the Almighty Creator, but to satisfy my own “felt needs”; I have not come to exalt God, but to glorify myself. How can you tell me that we do not bow down to idols in this country when they are all around us; and every whisper from the world and countless “so called Christians” is to come along with them in their idolatry? Mirrors, facebook, email, food, weather, sports, goals, dreams, etc. are not bad; but neither is wood, gold, bronze, clay, and stones. However when we put them in God’s place and treasure them above our Almighty Savior then we have set them up as idols that we bow down to.



O Lovers of Christ, repent with me, and let us turn from our wicked ways! Let us return to the Savior of our souls, casting down our idols, which are worthless.



O hear this battle cry, all you Soldiers of the Lord! Turn off your TVs, turn off the radio, put your computers away, turn off your cellphones, and open the Word of God. We wonder why God’s Word is not powerful in our lives (as it sits collecting dust on the shelf!), we wonder why we feel so empty (as we fill our lives with empty pursuits!), and we wonder why the God of the Bible seems so different then the God we serve (as we do not even know the God of the Bible!).



If everything was stripped away, would Christ be enough? If all you had to look forward to on Sundays was to study the Bible, would you come? Jesus demands everything from us…if we are to be true followers of Christ we must deny ourselves, take up our crosses, and follow Him. This means dying to self-daily, and putting to death all our fleshly longings and desires. We must give up everything to follow after Jesus. His Word is our life! If this kind of discipleship is not your idea of Christianity then you are not a follower of Christ, and you are going to Hell where you will bear God’s wrath for your sin.



The battle is fierce, but by God’s grace I will fight, and by the power of His Holy Spirit, I beg Him to enable me to cast down the idols I serve and instead cling to the Living God who alone reigns supreme. I have no power in myself, I have no ability to serve God, I am nothing, I am a sinner saved by grace and I stand clothed in Christ’s righteousness. He is my beauty, my all, my treasure, and my joy. Battle, O Faithful Ones, for the faith that has been entrusted to you! Battle with all your might in the power of God!



You will find strength and help in the Word of the Living God, but you must read it and invest your life in knowing Jesus. The Word of God is living and sharper than a two edged sword. Do not come to it as any other book, but as the very Words of God given to us because that is exactly what it is.



Thrust down the idols that are set up in your heart and life and come to God’s Word and be transformed as you renew your minds. Bow in prayer to the Living God and cry out to Him to work in your life and to empower you by the Holy Spirit to live for His glory alone. Persevere in these disciplines and do not give up, but wait upon the Lord and hope in Him. He sees our hearts, and our motives are laid bare before Him. Let us repent, and live wholeheartedly for Jesus.



How Great is Our God!

09 February 2011



Before it was time for me to go to work today, I climbed up to the flying bridge (which is where the look out stands watch) and watched while the sun burned away the morning fog and climbed higher in the sky overlooking San Diego. Ducks swam in the water while boats were coming and going and cars we driving over the bay on the Coronado Bridge on their way to work. The sky brightened into lovely shades of pink and gold and the clouds scattered from view, revealing a vibrant blue sky.






I needed to witness God’s beauty displayed through His creation this morning. I needed to see how great and awesome He is…to be reminded that I do not serve a God who needs my service, I do not worship a God who depends upon my worship, I do not love a God who loves me because of who I am. No I serve a God who came to earth and served me and saved me from the punishment for my sins, I worship a God who reconciled me to Himself so I can know the wonder and joy of knowing Him and glorifying Him, and I love a God who first loved me and has transformed my life by His love.






He does not need me…I NEED HIM. He does not depend upon me…I DEPEND UPON HIM. He is my all; my greatest good.






This is what I was reminded of this morning. HOW GREAT IS OUR GOD! He is the Sovereign Creator, the Righteous King, the merciful Savior...He is mighty to save...He is faithful, He is patient, His compassion knows no limits, His love NEVER FAILS.

Never let the struggles---the clouds of today---keep you from trusting and rejoicing in the Lord who is beautiful in splendor and majesty. You may not be able to see Him at work in your life, but He sees you...You may not be able to feel His presence, but He is holding you in His hands...You may feel overwhelmed but know that He is always with You. He will never leave You nor will He forsake you. Trust Him and rely upon His promises. Press on today in Christ's strength. Do not grow weary of doing good, but rather fix your eyes on what is unseen---fix your eyes on Jesus and He will renew your strength, He will fill you with joy, He may not take away your struggles, but He will sustain you in them.

Never forget that Jesus loves you----know and rely upon His love. And if you ever doubt His love...remember to do this...turn your eyes to the cross. For at the cross, Jesus demonstrated God's love as He gave up His life, endured God's wrath so that we might pocess this love which is better than life.

With God I Shall Do Valiantly

The Lord turned to Him and said, Go in the strength you have and save Israel out of Midian’s hands.

But Lord, how can I save Israel? My clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my family.

I will be with you and I will strike down all the Midianites together.

--Judges 6:14-16

To set the stage, The Angel of the LORD has just come to Gideon with a mission to rescue the people of Israel from the hands of the Midianites. As I read this passage this morning, the words seemed to jump off the page at me. I have read the story of Gideon before, but these verses struck a chord in my heart. God had a job for Gideon to do, and Gideon was not stupid…He knew He could not do it. He is listening to the LORD give him the mission, “ to rescue Israel in the strength you have,” At this point it is kind of like Gideon raises his hands to stop the Lord from going on, “But God, what strength? I don’t have any strength. You are looking at the least qualified man for the job. You must have gotten me mixed up with someone else because I cannot do this.”


However God did not make a mistake, and He answered Gideon, “I will be with you.”


Gideon’s strength (or lack there of) was not what mattered, what mattered was the fact that God had a mission for Gideon to carry out, and He would cause Gideon to accomplish the task. God does not seek out people who have the ability to do His work, He calls people who are weak and “unqualified” so that His power and might are seen through their inability. The key to carrying out God’s work is not our strength, but God’s presence.


I feel a lot like Gideon. I am here on the Midgett as His witness, but I am so weak to accomplish the mission He has given me to shine His glory among these people. I feel like I am the least articulate person in the world, and I see so many unbelievers who could probably defend my faith better than I could. I am fearful, filled with worries and such an unlikely candidate to minister to these people…and I just want to tell God, “I CAN’T DO THIS. THIS IS AN IMPOSSIBLE TASK THAT I AM COMPLETELY UNQUALIFIED TO CARRY OUT.” And I can just see Him smiling at me patiently nodding His head and saying, “I know…that is why I called you to do it.” All I can see are the impossibilities, but that just goes to show you how limited my view from here is. God can see the big picture, and He is not limited by my limitations.


The mission He has given me to accomplish here does not rest upon my ability nor upon my strength, but upon His power and might. I so easily forget that His work cannot fail. He is with me here on the Midgett and He will accomplish His work.


So He calls me to go forth in the strength I have…and my first response is “what strength?” And His response is, I AM WITH YOU…I WILL ACCOMPLISH THIS MISSION. So I go forth in my weakness, in my inability, in all the impossibilities that weigh me down, and in all the limitations that hold me back…I go forth not because I can but because God is with me and He is the one who is accomplishing His work here. I can do nothing, but through Christ I can do all things.


I am a lot like Gideon. But what the amazing thing is that the same God who caused Gideon to accomplish a seemingly impossible task is also the same God who enables me to do His work here on the Midgett. He does not change from day to day…He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. His love never fails, and His faithfulness is new every morning. So I press on because He is with me; I press on becasue with God I shall do valiantly.

November 24, 2010

November 24, 2010



Winter has certainly set in here in Seattle, and all is snowy and white. I was out and about earlier, getting some last minute things at the store for my upcoming patrol, and I could definitely feel the icy wind cut right through my coat. Now I am staying nice and warm in my rack, writing, and listening to Christmas music. Tonight shall be fun because I bought all the makings for s’mores!!! So I am going to see who all wants to join me in s’more making and eating later on.


It is hard to believe that I will be heading back out to sea here very soon. This week I have been especially praying and committing this upcoming patrol to the Lord. I do not want to waste the time God has given me to be His light here on the Midgett, and now as I realize that this will be my last patrol, I want to make sure I make the most of every second. I want to glorify God in all that I say and do and think; I want to make much of Jesus; and I want to finish hard, testifying to the Gospel of God’s grace to the people who are here on board with me. I do not want to leave here, and people think that I was just a nice person, that I was just an optimistic person---no I want them to know without a shadow of a doubt that the reason I smile every day is not just because I am a happy person; that the reason I wake up each morning is not just because the sun decided to rise; that the reason I work hard when others are not is not because I am just a “go getter”; that the reason I don’t complain when others are complaining is not just because I have fortitude---no the reason for all of this is because I know Jesus and He has saved me and filled my heart with joy! He is the reason not anything else…and I want everyone on this boat to know that Jesus is the one who makes me smile, He is the one who fills my heart with joy, He is the one who has given me a living hope, He is the one who has saved me, and He alone can satisfy their hearts.


Pray for me, because I can do nothing in my own strength. Pray that I will trust Jesus to be my strength and courage. It is so completely silly and ridiculous that I give in to fear when I serve the King of kings and Lord of lords. So I ask the Lord for help to sustain me and strengthen me to do His will. I know that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Phil. 4:13)!!!


So I press on, rejoicing in my Mighty Savior, resting in my merciful Father, and working in the power of the Holy Spirit to proclaim the Gospel here for the glory of God.


Immanuel: God with us. And if God is with us who can stand against us? I shall not fear for my God is with me!

Pressing on in Christ

The Lord has blessed me with a wonderful Saturday. I enjoyed breakfast at IHOP with some friends from my boat, and then I headed to one of my favorite places in the world (not really!) Barnes & Noble. But on a rainy Seattle day, a book store is a perfect way to spend the day(-:

As I sit here right now looking back over the past couple weeks, I am just completely blown away by God's amazing grace! The work I have seen Him doing in the lives of the people on my boat, overwhelms my heart. And I know that God has always been at work on my boat even when I cannot see...but how amazing it has been to see the work of the Lord. O He is mighty to save!

My prayer to the Lord has been that He will give me a heart of compassion for the people on my boat. I have never been through what most of these people have gone through, and when they tell me their struggles and the suffering they are experiencing...most of the times I do not know what to say. I beg God in my heart for words, but often times I am at a loss. And perhaps that is best and what God wants. Maybe the very thing He wants me to say is nothing, but to pray for them and tell them verses from the Bible. I am His servant here, and I want to glorify His name in everything.

God is so good to me and sustains me every new moment. I remember when I first arrived on the Midgett, people were so amazed that I was always smiling...when I was painting, when I was mess cooking, when I was vacuuming up water in the rain! I remember they would tell me that, once I had been on the boat for a couple months I would be just like them and hate life. Well, a couple months passed by and I was still smiling (not because of me but because Jesus gave me such an amazing joy in Him), so they told me that it was because I had never been out to sea before, and once I was underway I would be just like them and hate life and the boat. Well, I went out to sea on my first patrol in the Puget Sound (and lived to tell about it!!!!), and was smiling more than ever. They told me it was because I had never gone down south on a patrol. They said those patrols would be the ones to break me. Well, we went down south and I was still smiling and still filled with joy in Jesus. And now I have been here on the Midgett over a year! And I think everyone has finally given up. God has been at my side, faithfully sustaining me every moment. He is the one who supplies me with joy here on my boat. Apart from Him I would be like everyone else...the only difference between me and them is that I have Jesus in my heart, filling me with inexpressible joy. I have hope in Jesus and this hope is anchored in Christ. I am held by grace and sustained by grace. I would walk away from Christ, I would give up, I would go down the same path of self-destruction that the other people on my boat are on if it were not for God's amazing grace. Thank You Jesus, for I do not deserve Your grace, but You have lavished it upon me anyway. I am in awe of how mighty and gracious You are! Praise be unto Your name!

And now here in a few short weeks, I will be getting back underway and heading back out to sea for another three months. I am going to miss land and my coffee shops and my church family, but I am convinced that this is God's will and that He has me on  the Midgett for such a time as this. Soon my time on the Midgett will come to an end...but until then I am here to declare the gospel of God's grace. And my goal is to share it with eveyone on this boat---that everyone would know the reason I smile and the reason I am joyful. This will probably be my last patrol and then I will be going to advanced training school and after that go to a new duty station and finish up my remaining time in the Coast Guard. So just like a runner in a race sprints his very hardest as he sees the finish line come into sight...so I also sprint with all my might to the finish line. O God may I glorify you on the Midgett and declare your name and praise that all may know that You are God and You are mighty to save. I pray that when others look at me they would see You...I want to point to You in everything.

So as I prepare for this upcoming patrol, I face it with a renewed joy and a resolved determination to proclaim the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I am so excited! And yes I am afraid and scared to death at the same time! But I know the One true God and He is so wonderful and so good...and He supplies all my needs. He gives me strength, He gives me joy, HE HAS GIVEN ME SALVATION! I know that in Jesus Christ I am more than a conqueor because He has loved me and made me His own.

So I press on hard after Jesus. He holds me by His grace, He sustains me with His love, He teaches me in His faithfulness, and HE IS ALWAYS WITH ME. He will never leave me...in Him I press on...in Him I am strong, though I am weak...courageous, though I am afraid...righteous, though my works are as filthy rags. I am hidden in Christ!

#10 Golfito~ Midgett Adventure#3

August 28, 2010

We are back underway from Golfito, Costa Rica. It was nice to be on dry land again, but it is just not the same as being back in Seattle where I can go relax at one of my coffee shops and recharge my batteries. I am reminded once again though that it is through God that I shall do valiantly. He is the one who sustains and upholds me each step of the way as I continue journeying heavenward. I did enjoy skyping for a few minutes with my family even though it was only for a little bit. Our internet connection lasted only a short while but it was wonderful to see their faces. Costa Rica was definitely a beautiful spot with the rain forest surrounding us and exotic birds flying overhead.

This morning is an all-hands field day so I will be concentrating on cleaning my berthing and making sure everything is squared away. Life has been busy and classes keep me super busy it seems. Sometimes I don’t know how I ma going to juggle it all, but the Lord is so good to me and sustains me. He gives me the strength I need when I need it (not always when I want it (-:

#3 Music~Midgett Adventure #3

July 15, 2010

Well my turn to mess cook has come around. Today was a busy one with lots of cleaning and dishes, but God’s grace sustained me and gave my heart courage to press on through it all. O He is with me pushing me on to the finish line---His joy is my strength! The day finally did come to an end but tomorrow my day will start again bright and early. I pray that God would use me to point people to Christ and to glorify His name.

While I was washing dishes in the scullery, I plugged my mp3 player into the speakers under the sink and was listening to my music. I have never had such a hard time listening to my music and wanting to turn it off. I was struggling with acknowledging Christ before my fellow Coasties by my music. Oh Lord Jesus help me not be ashamed of You. You are my life; my greatest joy, and I hate it that I want to keep my music which praises Your name to myself. Help me Lord Jesus, I cannot continue shining Your light here on the Midgett without Your help and strength.

Midgett Adventures~#35 Watch

March 3, 2010

Another busy day down…I think I keep making my bed time earlier and earlier. I used to think ten was a good time to call it a night, but now six is sounding like a good time to hit the hay (seriously!); I must be getting old or something(-:

Today I had watch from 1200-1600. It was such a beautiful day with the sun shining. It was not too cold and the breeze felt really good. We have left the calm waters of the Puget behind us and are heading out into the straights. So we have picked up some rolling and rocking today that we are not used to. I was keeping an especially sharp eye out for whales. I guess one of the lookouts saw some today, but I did not end up spotting any. I had fun looking out for them though.

Let’s see, what else did I do today? I got my laundry done, helped do some inventory, finished up making a slide show of my journey so far, and some other little things here and there. God continually teaches me to rely upon Him for strength for each day and He truly is my strength.

Midgett Adventures~ #33 Watch

March 3, 2010

Another busy day down…I think I keep making my bed time earlier and earlier. I used to think ten was a good time to call it a night, but now six is sounding like a good time to hit the hay (seriously!); I must be getting old or something(-:

Today I had watch from 1200-1600. It was such a beautiful day with the sun shining. It was not too cold and the breeze felt really good. We have left the calm waters of the Puget behind us and are heading out into the straights. So we have picked up some rolling and rocking today that we are not used to. I was keeping an especially sharp eye out for whales. I guess one of the lookouts saw some today, but I did not end up spotting any. I had fun looking out for them though.

Let’s see, what else did I do today? Ii got my laundry done, helped do some inventory, finished up making a slideshow of my journey so far, and some other little things here and there. God continually teaches me to rely upon Him for strength for each day and He truly is my strength.