Rekindling Joy

Recently the Lord has been reminding me of lessons that I thought I had already learned...and in His sweet kindness is so gracious and patient to teach me again. As I look over my time in the Coast Guard, I see that in that first year right out of boot camp, the Lord really taught me deep lessons in "JOY". I struggled when I first arrived at my boat (as you can see if you go back and read earlier posts from 2009), but the Lord stayed by my side. Even as I was swamped with my first set of quals that I needed to work on, feeling homesick once again, and not really liking where I was...the Lord showed me that it did not matter what I was doing but what really mattered was who I was doing it for.

he Lord has placed me here on this earth to glorify His name and s everything I do in life is for this ultimate purpose. I learned those early days in the Coast Guard that if I am going to paint a wall then I am going to do it for the Lord and because I am doing it for Him I can do it with a smile and joy. God taught my heart joy amidst circumstances that were far from what I would have wanted them to be.

And now as I come to my last year in the Coast Guard, I believe that the Lord is bringing this lesson back to the forefront. He is reminding me to not just endure my last year in the Coast Guard here in Eastport, but to use it as a way to point to Him by being joyful even when I am studying, washing the boats, standing radio watch, etc.

So here is my game plan so to speak(-:

Rejoice and be filled with thanksgiving!
-When I first wake up in the morning, I am going to spend those first few moments thanking the Lord for the new day before me and praise Him for who He is.
-When I go to work I am going to give thanks to God for the new opportunity to shine the light of the Gospel in a dark place.
-At work I am going to study hard and look for was to learn more and more.
-At work I am going to look for ways to show mercy and kindness and not to gossip and destroy people with my words.
-When I am skyping with my wonderful fiance Fidele, and the Internet connection is terrible and all I wan to do is cry, I will rejoice and thank the Lord that He has blessed me with such a good, wonderful man who is waiting faithfully for me to be His wife and who is giving up sleep and trying to skype with me even though it is not working.
-When I feel lonely and homesick, I will thank the Lord for the wonderful friends He has given me here in Eastport and the wonderful church family I have.

Those are just some starters...I find that once you give yourself to rejoicing that it is hard to find a place to stop. The Lord is so good and kind to us and the things that I can stop and thank Him for are endless. His mercies are new every morning! His faithfulness is beyond my comprehension! He is my glorious strength! And my steadfast peace that calms my raging soul. He is always with me so I will not give in to the struggles and worries that weigh upon my soul. The Almighty God is my refuge so I will not fear, but I will trust in Him.

So today I am learning to rekindle the joy that once was burning and alive in my heart. I thank the Lord that He can relight that fire in me and make it even more alive and bright than before. I pray that the joy of the Lord fills me now and transforms me to be about His work and to glorify His name here in Eastport, Maine.

Pressing on in Christ

The Lord has blessed me with a wonderful Saturday. I enjoyed breakfast at IHOP with some friends from my boat, and then I headed to one of my favorite places in the world (not really!) Barnes & Noble. But on a rainy Seattle day, a book store is a perfect way to spend the day(-:

As I sit here right now looking back over the past couple weeks, I am just completely blown away by God's amazing grace! The work I have seen Him doing in the lives of the people on my boat, overwhelms my heart. And I know that God has always been at work on my boat even when I cannot see...but how amazing it has been to see the work of the Lord. O He is mighty to save!

My prayer to the Lord has been that He will give me a heart of compassion for the people on my boat. I have never been through what most of these people have gone through, and when they tell me their struggles and the suffering they are experiencing...most of the times I do not know what to say. I beg God in my heart for words, but often times I am at a loss. And perhaps that is best and what God wants. Maybe the very thing He wants me to say is nothing, but to pray for them and tell them verses from the Bible. I am His servant here, and I want to glorify His name in everything.

God is so good to me and sustains me every new moment. I remember when I first arrived on the Midgett, people were so amazed that I was always smiling...when I was painting, when I was mess cooking, when I was vacuuming up water in the rain! I remember they would tell me that, once I had been on the boat for a couple months I would be just like them and hate life. Well, a couple months passed by and I was still smiling (not because of me but because Jesus gave me such an amazing joy in Him), so they told me that it was because I had never been out to sea before, and once I was underway I would be just like them and hate life and the boat. Well, I went out to sea on my first patrol in the Puget Sound (and lived to tell about it!!!!), and was smiling more than ever. They told me it was because I had never gone down south on a patrol. They said those patrols would be the ones to break me. Well, we went down south and I was still smiling and still filled with joy in Jesus. And now I have been here on the Midgett over a year! And I think everyone has finally given up. God has been at my side, faithfully sustaining me every moment. He is the one who supplies me with joy here on my boat. Apart from Him I would be like everyone else...the only difference between me and them is that I have Jesus in my heart, filling me with inexpressible joy. I have hope in Jesus and this hope is anchored in Christ. I am held by grace and sustained by grace. I would walk away from Christ, I would give up, I would go down the same path of self-destruction that the other people on my boat are on if it were not for God's amazing grace. Thank You Jesus, for I do not deserve Your grace, but You have lavished it upon me anyway. I am in awe of how mighty and gracious You are! Praise be unto Your name!

And now here in a few short weeks, I will be getting back underway and heading back out to sea for another three months. I am going to miss land and my coffee shops and my church family, but I am convinced that this is God's will and that He has me on  the Midgett for such a time as this. Soon my time on the Midgett will come to an end...but until then I am here to declare the gospel of God's grace. And my goal is to share it with eveyone on this boat---that everyone would know the reason I smile and the reason I am joyful. This will probably be my last patrol and then I will be going to advanced training school and after that go to a new duty station and finish up my remaining time in the Coast Guard. So just like a runner in a race sprints his very hardest as he sees the finish line come into sight...so I also sprint with all my might to the finish line. O God may I glorify you on the Midgett and declare your name and praise that all may know that You are God and You are mighty to save. I pray that when others look at me they would see You...I want to point to You in everything.

So as I prepare for this upcoming patrol, I face it with a renewed joy and a resolved determination to proclaim the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I am so excited! And yes I am afraid and scared to death at the same time! But I know the One true God and He is so wonderful and so good...and He supplies all my needs. He gives me strength, He gives me joy, HE HAS GIVEN ME SALVATION! I know that in Jesus Christ I am more than a conqueor because He has loved me and made me His own.

So I press on hard after Jesus. He holds me by His grace, He sustains me with His love, He teaches me in His faithfulness, and HE IS ALWAYS WITH ME. He will never leave me...in Him I press on...in Him I am strong, though I am weak...courageous, though I am afraid...righteous, though my works are as filthy rags. I am hidden in Christ!

Blown Away!

Well, it has been quite a while since I last posted anything. Life has been busy and filled with lots of good challenges. I have been mess cooking the past two weeks, which can be draining. The Lord is ever faithful in sustaining me and upholding me through His Word and through cross-centered music. I have come to love the song by Aaron Shust, "My Savior and My God." I  would listen to that as I washed dishes and cleaned tables. God has greatly encouraged my heart with His love throughout the past several weeks...when I feel down and discouraged, He brings the Gospel to my mind. "Christ has died for me, He has made a way that I can have peace with God, I am clothed in His righteousness, and in Him I hide!" Preaching the Gospel to myself is a definite must to keep my eyes focused on the cross. I do have some fellow Believers here on the boat, but most of them do not think about the cross and live discouraged lives. It is only by God's grace that He has taught me that the Gospel is not just for unbelievers but for Believers!

Now that I am no longer mess cooking, I will be working back in Navigation. I am also taking two classes that keep me busy with homework and projects. I am doing well, though even if I don't have lots of down time...it helps make the patrol go faster. I miss all of you back home, and it encourages me greatly knowing that you are lifting me up in your prayers.

I suppose if I were to sum up the past several months and even the past two years, the lessons God has taught me all seem to derive from the book of Philippians. The joy we have as followers of Christ is not based off of circumstances and feelings, but off of Him. Situations, people, pain, suffering, and even sin can never take away that which is most imoprtant to me---Jesus! Oh how I love Him...sometimes I feel like I could explode with the joy in knowing Him...and to think I have only tasted but a small bit of it. I am comforted by the fact that I am not HOME yet! Someday I will be with Jesus...and I will see Him face to face. My faith will be turned to sight. What a wonderful day that will be! My fellow Coasties cannot comprehend my joy nor the reason I am so happy when I tell them why...because I know Jesus and He fills me with joy. It is a mystery to them, but not to me. How could I be anything but joyful in knowing and being known by the Almighty God who has saved me. Believers who do not think and rejoice in the Gospel daily will be robbed of joy, drained of strength, and conformed to the word around them. We must fight for joy...true, lasting joy in Jesus. Sometimes God's presence seems far away...maybe even gone...but we must not trust our feelings. When God's presence seems far away cling to His promises.

So here I am clinging to the promises of God, amazed by His love, and filled with joy in knowing Him. I am saved by grace and I no longer live but Jesus Christ lives in me. I am not home yet, but someday soon I will be with Jesus and until then I want to live life with all I have got for His glory. O that I may be spent and used up for Him and make it to my heavenly home all used up, spilled out, and worn out from serving Jesus...and yes, smiling as I cross the finish line.

Here Rests My Soul

April 30, 2010

This I know is truth that God is good and He is sovereign. I see His hand at work in my life in every detail. In His goodness and by His providence, my leave chit was speedily approved, and by the same goodness and sovereignty my flight home was delayed. The same hand that sustains also inflicts; the same God who gives also takes. Through joy and sorrow, He teaches us that He is good, He is sovereign, and His glory is our joy. Perhaps I’ll miss time with my family, but the Teacher knows best, teaching me to be content in Him in all circumstances. He is teaching me that His love is better than life. So I rejoice that God is good and sovereign. I rejoice that I am going home, and that I am stuck in Seattle. I rejoice that God is my joy, and that is Him my heart finds rest.