February 20, 2011
Life has a way of speeding up, things get busy at work, and I often forget and lose sight of what truly matters. I seem to suddenly find myself overwhelmed and discouraged in my spiritual life and I do not understand why. But God is ever gracious and merciful to me, and does not fail to teach and correct me. He is a patient God and it is not His method to teach us quick and rushed lessons. I have found this to be so the past three months that I have been out to sea. Each patrol I find that God teaches me wonderful lessons about Himself, though they are not easy lessons to learn, they are beautiful and fill me with great joy. It is not an easy thing to sum up the lessons learned over the past three months, but as I stand looking back, I know and am convinced that God has been teaching me a crucial heart lesson: LIVE EACH DAY AMAZED BY GOD.
Where delight and duty meet is hard to differentiate, and it is extremely easy to begin serving God with joy and gladness and then all too soon to turn that service into a mere duty that must be accomplished. My joy in knowing God and spending time with God and being amazed by Him is easily turned into a longing and striving to honor Him as a way to win His favor. What meaninglessness this is because I cannot merit anything from my Lord! I am a worthless sinner SAVED BY GRACE! But I forget, and as life rushes on I busily try to serve God and work up emotions and longings that look Christ-exalting all the while I fail to do what is most important…I fail to be amazed by the God who has saved me.
I see that this has happened the past three months. Perhaps God had to break me and show me my utter helplessness in order to teach me this lesson anew. For at the beginning of this patrol, I met with so many opportunities to serve Christ, to reach out to others…and now as I look back I feel like an utter failure. I do not think I used the opportunities He gave me to the best of my ability. What happened, I wonder? I wanted to glorify God, I wanted to make much of Christ, and now I am left with so many wishes and longings of what should have been in my mind. Fear seemed to come in as a flood, as a paralyzing force, and I was rendered unable to do anything. I cried out to God in my inability, waiting and longing for Him to work to help me; so troubled that I could not even find words to even pray. I felt like a joke…here I am professing a faith in a God who fills me with joy and delight, all the while my soul was in turmoil and despair. How could I be a witness of the Gospel when my own soul was in such a state. And like the waves of the sea, I was tossed and thrown about…one moment happy and joyful in the Lord and the next moment I was taken down to the depths. But I know Christ never once left me, even as I felt completely alone.
And as a traveler so set on a journey that his eyes remain fixed on the ground in front of him…so I was set on serving Christ, but my eyes were not fixed on Christ. I was trying and striving to live for Him, to honor Him, to use my life to glorify Him, and so I find that I failed to be amazed by Him. Only as we are fixed upon the Son, will we e able to reflect His light; only as we are astounded by His mercy and grace, will we be able to live lives that are overflowing with compassion towards others; and only as we are completely enthralled by His beauty, will we be able to shine that beauty to this world. It is not in striving that we will glorify God, but in knowing and resting in the truth that He is God that we will magnify His name.
Yes we should serve Him, yes all our longings should be consumed in glorifying His name, and yes we should live every moment for our Savior; but we cannot do any of this unless we are first living each day amazed by His amazing and life transforming grace. We must live AMAZED BY GOD! He is our greatest good, our deepest joy, our most priceless treasure, our highest pleasure, and our abiding peace. In Christ alone our hope is found and we must fix our eyes on Him alone in order to live each day for His glory. Our strength is guaranteed to fail, our motivation will disappear, our faith will weaken, our love will grow cold, but Christ remains the same: He’s love is constant and never fails…upon Him we must fix our sight lest we be tossed about by the troubles of this life.
And so I sit here thinking about the past three month…quite humbled and quiet in my heart, but the sparks of amazement are kindled by God’s love. So as I face this new day, I smile in amazement at my gracious, kind God who holds me by His grace. Perhaps I have found once again that God is not so much concerned about the work I do for Him but the work He does in me.
O great God, I stand amazed by the power of Your love! I am a sinner, only saved by Your great grace, and I am Your servant to do as You will. So use me to shine for Your glory, to reflect Your beauty, and to be a light in this dark world. I struggle, I am so weak, but You enable me to do the impossible. You supply me with grace so that I can serve You. You fill me with joy in Your presence. I love You , O Lord, my precious Savior and my God!
Life has a way of speeding up, things get busy at work, and I often forget and lose sight of what truly matters. I seem to suddenly find myself overwhelmed and discouraged in my spiritual life and I do not understand why. But God is ever gracious and merciful to me, and does not fail to teach and correct me. He is a patient God and it is not His method to teach us quick and rushed lessons. I have found this to be so the past three months that I have been out to sea. Each patrol I find that God teaches me wonderful lessons about Himself, though they are not easy lessons to learn, they are beautiful and fill me with great joy. It is not an easy thing to sum up the lessons learned over the past three months, but as I stand looking back, I know and am convinced that God has been teaching me a crucial heart lesson: LIVE EACH DAY AMAZED BY GOD.
Where delight and duty meet is hard to differentiate, and it is extremely easy to begin serving God with joy and gladness and then all too soon to turn that service into a mere duty that must be accomplished. My joy in knowing God and spending time with God and being amazed by Him is easily turned into a longing and striving to honor Him as a way to win His favor. What meaninglessness this is because I cannot merit anything from my Lord! I am a worthless sinner SAVED BY GRACE! But I forget, and as life rushes on I busily try to serve God and work up emotions and longings that look Christ-exalting all the while I fail to do what is most important…I fail to be amazed by the God who has saved me.
I see that this has happened the past three months. Perhaps God had to break me and show me my utter helplessness in order to teach me this lesson anew. For at the beginning of this patrol, I met with so many opportunities to serve Christ, to reach out to others…and now as I look back I feel like an utter failure. I do not think I used the opportunities He gave me to the best of my ability. What happened, I wonder? I wanted to glorify God, I wanted to make much of Christ, and now I am left with so many wishes and longings of what should have been in my mind. Fear seemed to come in as a flood, as a paralyzing force, and I was rendered unable to do anything. I cried out to God in my inability, waiting and longing for Him to work to help me; so troubled that I could not even find words to even pray. I felt like a joke…here I am professing a faith in a God who fills me with joy and delight, all the while my soul was in turmoil and despair. How could I be a witness of the Gospel when my own soul was in such a state. And like the waves of the sea, I was tossed and thrown about…one moment happy and joyful in the Lord and the next moment I was taken down to the depths. But I know Christ never once left me, even as I felt completely alone.
And as a traveler so set on a journey that his eyes remain fixed on the ground in front of him…so I was set on serving Christ, but my eyes were not fixed on Christ. I was trying and striving to live for Him, to honor Him, to use my life to glorify Him, and so I find that I failed to be amazed by Him. Only as we are fixed upon the Son, will we e able to reflect His light; only as we are astounded by His mercy and grace, will we be able to live lives that are overflowing with compassion towards others; and only as we are completely enthralled by His beauty, will we be able to shine that beauty to this world. It is not in striving that we will glorify God, but in knowing and resting in the truth that He is God that we will magnify His name.
Yes we should serve Him, yes all our longings should be consumed in glorifying His name, and yes we should live every moment for our Savior; but we cannot do any of this unless we are first living each day amazed by His amazing and life transforming grace. We must live AMAZED BY GOD! He is our greatest good, our deepest joy, our most priceless treasure, our highest pleasure, and our abiding peace. In Christ alone our hope is found and we must fix our eyes on Him alone in order to live each day for His glory. Our strength is guaranteed to fail, our motivation will disappear, our faith will weaken, our love will grow cold, but Christ remains the same: He’s love is constant and never fails…upon Him we must fix our sight lest we be tossed about by the troubles of this life.
And so I sit here thinking about the past three month…quite humbled and quiet in my heart, but the sparks of amazement are kindled by God’s love. So as I face this new day, I smile in amazement at my gracious, kind God who holds me by His grace. Perhaps I have found once again that God is not so much concerned about the work I do for Him but the work He does in me.
O great God, I stand amazed by the power of Your love! I am a sinner, only saved by Your great grace, and I am Your servant to do as You will. So use me to shine for Your glory, to reflect Your beauty, and to be a light in this dark world. I struggle, I am so weak, but You enable me to do the impossible. You supply me with grace so that I can serve You. You fill me with joy in Your presence. I love You , O Lord, my precious Savior and my God!
Hi, Sara. You don't really know me, but I think I may have met you one time at a Thursday night study in NM taught by Thomas (Church of the Redeemer). I found your blog link on your dad's blog. I met some of your family a few months ago when your father came to teach at my church. It's such an encouragment to see your family joyfully serving the Lord by moving to Africa. I was also encouraged reading your blog tonight. It reminded me how much I need to be in prayer for the body of Christ. It's so easy to think only about my spiritual walk and not the walk of someone miles and miles away. I will be praying for you. May the Lord help you to be more amazed by Him each day.
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